Doctrines that I've invented

I would first off like to say that I DO NOT BELIEVE THIS NOR DO I KNOW ANY CHRISTIAN WHO DOES!!! These verses were taken COMPLETELY out of context. THEY ARE NOT BIBLICAL AT ALL.



Heresy #1

Proverbs 14:9 Fools mock

Since we don’t want to be a fool, we shouldn’t mock.

Matthew 5:11"Blessed are you when people insult you

Since we wouldn’t want to withhold people’s blessings, we should insult as many people as possible.

However, we must be careful only to insult and not to mock, because we don’t want to be a fool



Heresy #2

Matthew 6:17-18 But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face,
so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting,

See it’s biblical, we should gel [put oil on] our hair. And to those who would say that we should only gel when we’re fasting, I strongly rebuke you. We must always gel our hair otherwise people would know we are fasting because we’re wearing gel.



Heresy #3

Job 15:14 What is man… born of woman, that he could be righteous?

Obviously this verse is saying that the fact that men are born from woman is what makes us unrighteous.



Some of you may have heard all of these before, but maybe some of you haven’t. Again, I would like to emphasize that there is NO Christian on the face of this planet that believes this. THIS IS TOTALLY MADE UP. The verses are COMPLETELY taken out of context.